||[Jan. 15th, 2010|11:40 pm]
Slashing the Mythbusters
Title: Underwater Car|
Warnings: slash, adult sexual content, set in episode number 72: "Underwater Car" and therefore contains "spoilers" from that episode
Summary: Jamie doesn't like the idea of Adam testing the underwater car myth, Adam doesn't like that Jamie is treating him as if he is stupid.
Author's Note: Now that I'm done with this, I'm still not satisfied that I've gotten Jamie's voice and essence exactly correct - I'm more of an Adam person. However, when I saw this episode, I had to write something, and it seemed like it would only work from Jamie's point of view.
"I've always wanted to be the dude in the car, you've got to let me be the dude in the car," Adam enthused. He was breathless, manic. Energy coiled within him like a snake about to strike, or a bomb just the moment before it went off. He arched his back and clasped his hands and spun around in his desk chair and mouthed 'please, please, please' like a little kid begging to be allowed to have ice-cream for dinner, or something.
Dealing with Adam was a lot like what Jamie imagined dealing with a little kid would be like. "You're not going to be in the car," said Jamie. "It's risky and, frankly, stupid."
"Hear me out," Adam requested. His hands, now unclasped, served to accent and punctuate his words.
"There's nothing for me to hear out," Jamie responded. "You're not going to be in the car. End of discussion." These were the times when Adam tried his patience the most. He pitched headlong into things and didn't think about the consequences, and then would sit there like this and challenge anyone who would try to tell him 'no'. When they were trying to decide on the best way to build something, Jamie sometimes liked it that Adam would stand toe-to-toe against him. Jamie tended to develop a tunnel vision about his work, and on those occasions having someone to tell him 'Jamie you're overlooking this and you're going to fuck things up' was a good thing. However, sometimes - like right that moment - he wished Adam would just shut up and just do what he was told.
"Yes, there is," Adam countered.
"No. I'm the trained diver. I'm much more prepared to be in situations like this. I should be the one in the car," Jamie attempted to reason with him. It was straightforward, really.
"That's precisely the reason I should be the one to do it. How many of our viewers are dive-masters? How many people who drive their car off a bridge and into the water are trained divers? We want to test what is practical for the average person to do in that situation, not what is possible for an experienced diver to do," Adam acted like he was making an emotional appeal to a jury for a guy's life or something. For all Jamie knew, somewhere in the recesses of Adam's mind that's exactly what he thought he was doing - he still didn't understand what went on in Adam's head most of the time. "Besides, it makes for better television this way."
Jamie sighed. He hated when Adam was right about things, and he knew that with that kind of pitch - even if Jamie didn't agree to this - the producers would over-rule him and Adam would get his way anyway. It would make for good tv, Jamie just didn't want to be a part of it. With rational justification no longer viable, all there was left for him to do was to admit to his personal concerns. "I just don't think you're taking into account how dangerous this could turn out to be, and I don't want to see you seriously hurt, that's all," he said. One of his shoes had a dark scuff on the toe, and the red canvas was turning discolored and ragged.
"I'll have an oxygen tank," Adam offered.
"And if it malfunctions? If you panic?" questioned Jamie. "You get all flaily and stupid. And yes, you're right, it makes for good tv. It could also make for a disaster if things go wrong."
Adam leaned forward with his hands on his forehead and paused for a moment. Finally he looked up and asked, "Would you feel more comfortable if you were down there with me?"
Relief washed over Jamie. It was such a perfect, simple solution he wished he had come up with himself. Of course, if he had, he suspected Adam would have resisted on principle. This was better. "To be honest, that is probably the only way I will feel comfortable with this," he answered.
"So can I be the dude in the car?" Adam asked again.
"You can be the dude in the car," Jamie confirmed. Adam's grin almost made it worth it.
Then it was forgotten about for weeks and months. The pace of the filming meant that there was not too much time for dwelling on things. There was time for blowing things up, and finding new myths, and laughing and fighting and calling to ask people whether they could use their crocodiles. However the pace of filming and living left little time for thinking.
The night before the actual shoot, however, Jamie slept fitfully. He couldn't shake the fear that something would happen to Adam. His Adam. They had done a lot of stupid things on the show, and this could turn out to be one of the dumbest. Pain was one thing - Jamie was a bit of a sadist, and seeing Adam squirm in pain - whether self- or Jamie- inflicted - was always at least a little enjoyable. Adam actually being in harm's way was different altogether. Jamie hated it more than he hated being in danger himself; when he himself was in a bad situation, he could take steps to fix it. When Adam was in a bad situation, all Jamie could do was stress and think about what Adam should be doing and why was he not doing it. He was stressed now just thinking about it.
Finally, Jamie could stand it no longer. He lightly trailed his finger in an arc from Adam's shoulder blade curling up across his neck. Adam took a deep breath, then twisted around, his eyes still heavy-lidded with sleep. "What?" he inquired. His arm went up to his forehead to wipe a tuft of hair back from in front of his eyes.
"I've been thinking, and I don't want you to do this," Jamie explained. Adam stretched his arms out above him then rolled over the rest of the way, wrapped his arms around Jamie's neck and pressed some kisses into his collarbone. Jamie was always surprised at how quickly his body responded to Adam's touch. Sex had been the last thing on his mind seconds ago, now his body betrayed the fact that it was at the forefront.
"Don't worry about it, Everything will go fine," Adam attempted to reassure him. It didn't. It irritated Jamie more. Adam wasn't thinking about what could go wrong. He didn't, and wouldn't, until it was staring him in the face. Jamie always thought about everything could go wrong. He wasn't sure how to stop.
"You can't be sure of that," responded Jamie.
Adam chuckled. "Aw, is my Jamie-poo worried about me?" he teased. Jamie wished Adam wouldn't call him things like Jamie-poo, it was dumb, and it made him feel uncomfortable. Of course Adam was able to pick up on this, and so did it all the time.
Kissing was the best way to shut Adam up that Jamie knew. That mouth had to be doing something constantly, and at least this -Jamie mused - was beneficial to both of them. As they kissed, Jamie let his hands drift down Adam's back, settling at his love handles. As Adam had gotten older he had developed a bit of a pudge from his diet of fast food and beer, but that didn't keep Jamie from treating him like he was the sexiest thing alive. After all, in Jamie's eyes he was. It had taken a long time for Jamie to admit that to himself, and even longer to admit it to Adam. He wished he had done it sooner.
As Adam woke up a little more, his kisses grew hungrier. He broke his embrace and reached down, slipping Jamie's cock out of his boxers and pressing it against his own. Jamie couldn't prevent the groan that escaped from his throat at the other man's touch. Adam knew just how to get him all hot and bothered. He was pretty sure Adam did everything he knew would get the strongest reaction out of him, that Adam took some measure of satisfaction out of that on top of the sexual component. He kind of hated it, being vulnerable. He had tried closing his eyes to block out everything and hopefully feel less self-conscious, but it never actually worked the way he thought it might. Instead he tried to focus on everything else, like how he loved the way it felt when Adam moved his hand that certain way he could never seem to quite imitate, the pressure and the friction and Adam's quick shallow breaths warm against the side of his neck.
It reminded Jamie of nothing so much as a pressure valve being released, the way Adam sharply exhaled and all the tension flowed out of his body when he climaxed. Jamie wrapped his arm around Adam's shoulder, holding him close. He could feel Adam's chest heaves rise and fall against his own, deep and regular and calm. Adam went to go back to giving Jamie a hand job, but Jamie quieted Adam's hands with his own and stole another long kiss. They laid that way for a couple minutes until Adam rolled back into his original position, contented and tired. Jamie got up and took a shower. He tried to sleep on the couch just so he was somewhat rested, but sleep still did not come easy.
Sometimes he wished that something in his life was different - either the show or Adam - but he wasn't sure it was possible at this point. Certainly the show would not be the same without Adam. However, recently he had realized that Adam wouldn't be the same without the show; some intangible part of his identity was wrapped up in it, and, if the show was gone, that part of Adam would leave, too. He didn't want that. He didn't quite understand it - after five years Jamie would still be just as happy if the cameras weren't there. Life would go on. M5 would go on. Adam seemed to thrive with all the attention on him. Tory had commented before that when he worked with Adam before the show, Adam used to act like there were cameras on him even then. Before the show seemed a lifetime away after just five years. Maybe if Adam was less stupid - Jamie entertained the thought for a seconds. He tried to remember if he had always known Adam was stupid, or if he had only become aware of it being around him every day, watching and rewatching taped footage and seeing Adam goofing and stumbling and throwing himself forward over and over again into things he didn't understand. He decided it didn't matter. Before the show he wasn't his Adam, he was just Adam. His Adam was stupid. Brilliant and talented and endearing and stupid. He'd just have to get used to this uneasiness and let life go the way it decided to, Jamie finally decided.
The next day, as often happened, it seemed the roles were reversed. Jamie had control now, and when he had control things were good. Everyone listened to him, and he could make sure every last person stood exactly where he wanted, and check and double check every knot and rig involved, and make sure things were as safe as they were going to be. Adam - as he had predicted - was beginning to show the signs of stress, now that he was visualizing the process and the risk was concrete rather than theoretical. It wasn't always immediately obvious to most people, because Adam under stress was just prone to laugh a lot. Adam in general was prone to laugh a lot. It was the smaller signs that Jamie noticed more - the grimaces when Adam thought nobody was looking, the tenseness that seemed wrought through his whole body. Jamie tried to help Adam shake it off, making jokes up until the time they finally ran the first take.
Adam's nerves still seemed to be running at their highest as the car began to be lowered into the water. "What the fuck are we doing?" he wondered aloud. He laughed. He did that when he was nervous, too. The closer the water crept up, the more he got panicky. "Holy shit. Oh man. Oh fuck." This made Jamie worry more - Adam in situations like this was usually so focused on the experiment and explaining what he was doing and thinking and feeling to the cameras that it would take an explosion to draw his attention away. Watching him be so wrapped up in his own fear was very disconcerting. Jamie held out the regulator, even though they hadn't even gotten underwater yet, just in case.
Then they were underwater and watching Adam struggle with the door the few second he was able to seemed like an eternity, even though Jamie knew there were controls in place and that all the equipment was working. He wished Adam would just take the regulator already. Or that they had devised this differently so Adam had oxygen on him the whole time underwater and they had seen how long how he could hold his breath separately. Above ground. Where it was safe. Or something. He wanted him to just take the oxygen already. He touched Adam's shoulder, but Adam ignored him to keep on struggling against the door. He couldn't make Adam take it, so he tried to will him to do so. Adam made him stupid like that sometimes. Finally Adam took it. Finally he was out. Jamie thought he might be just as relieved as Adam was, until he remembered they had to repeat this again.
Jamie was glad when Adam said that he couldn't do anything else that day, that way he didn't have to be the one to say it. Thinking about logistics, thinking about Adam, these things took too much out of him to just allow him to hop in and do it all again.
With the stressful part over for the day, Adam was able to joke about it "I died," he cracked for the cameras. He was tired and giddy, a combination of exhaustion and adrenaline. He shouted and fist pumped and did flips in the water. Jamie couldn't help but smile as he watched. This was what made Adam beautiful to him, more than anything else. The eyes and that smile were icing on the cake. But someone who was willing to pull 18 hour days in the shop making something they would destroy in 18 minutes for the sake of science, who appreciated the beauty of a chemical reaction, who could start the day alongside of him saying "What the hell are we doing?" and end it with "That was fucking awesome!" well, what could be sexier than that? He wanted to take Adam somewhere private and fuck the shit out of him, but that would have to wait.
He settled for saying "Hey Adam, why don't you get out of the pool and dry off a bit."
"Yes mom," Adam shot back. Jamie hadn't wanted to come off as bossy, but he guessed he kind of had. He knew, because Adam had told him, that sometimes he came off as acting like Adam was incapable, or a child, or something. And, well sometimes Adam was like a child, and at some things Adam was incapable, but most of the time he was one of the most talented and competent people Jamie had met. He had tried reassuring Adam of this, and he thought - hoped - Adam knew it by now. However, that didn't stop Adam from bristling at his any word sometimes.
Jamie let it be, and eventually Adam did get out and dry off. And eventually he did make his way over to Jamie and give him an affectionate punch in the shoulder. "You good?" Adam asked. He was the first person to ask Jamie about he was doing all day. It made sense, since Jamie wasn't actively testing the myth, and was an experienced diver. And, well, it was certainly an open secret that he and Adam occasionally left and came in together, but it wasn't something they actually discussed. Not with Jamie at least. He didn't know what Adam said or what people said to him. Knowing Adam, he probably didn't want to know.
"I'm good," Jamie confirmed. "You did real well, Adam," he added.
Adam rewarded him with that grin that lights up his whole face. "Thanks. That means a lot, considering..." He trailed off.
"Considering that I hated everything about this going into it?" Jamie asked.
"Yeah," Adam responded. "So you're okay with this, now?"
"I'm better," Jamie answered. He really wished Adam would go through dive training, but he wasn't going to bring that up right then and there. Time and place, he reminded himself. "You know, I realized it wouldn't be so bad if you died anyway; I'd finally get some peace and quiet for once."
There was the laugh again, and Adam's affectionate punch was a little bit harder this time. "You jerk!"
"Gee, Adam, have you been working out? That almost hurt this time," Jamie teased. Adam started hopping around, jabbing, imitating a boxer. Jamie couldn't help but chuckle. He grabbed at the towel Adam had draped around his neck and gave it a little tug. "Come on, ya goof, let's finish up and get out of here."
"Hey, I thought you said you were better with this today," Adam commented, noticing Jamie had suddenly turned grim at they began suiting up to get in the car again.
"Just because I'm okay with it, doesn't mean I have to like it," responded Jamie. There were a lot of things that he did that he did or put up with that he wasn't exactly thrilled with. This was just another one of those things. That's what he was trying to tell himself anyway.
Adam frowned, but said nothing. Jamie wished he at least knew what Adam was thinking. "Well, we'll be finished with this part of it today," Adam said finally.
"Let's hope anyway," Jamie responded. He knew that with the way show production went, there was no way to guarantee that this shot would be finished that day, or that somewhere days or weeks down the line the producers wouldn't come to them and ask them to do it again. And they would, for the sake of the show.
"Yeah," Adam agreed.
Before long they were back in the car, suspended over the water ready to be dropped in again.
Adam was less focused on his internal state this time, it seemed, and back into what Jamie considered to be his 'tv host' mode. Seeing him back to normal - or as normal as Adam ever got, anyway - relaxed Jamie. Even better was the fact that they didn't even get the car submerged very much at all this time. Adam was able to open the door right away and acted like he was king of the world after he did it. That wasn't so bad.
Take three was worse. Adam was even more confident this time around, but they were going to be underwater again, and the differential in pressure between the cabin and the outside of the door meant that opening the door was more of a struggle. Jamie winced seeing Adam shift around to brace himself against the passenger door. The last thing he needed was for Adam to hurt his back or something while he shifted around awkwardly and threw his weight against the door. It worried him more knowing that Adam, since he was successful with this attempt, would want to push the envelope further and do this more submerged, just out of curiosity as to whether it would work or not. And, well, you know the saying about curiosity and the cat.
"I'm going to have dreams about this tonight" Adam commented at the beginning of the fourth take. Jamie thought that Adam wouldn't be the only one. Seeing his partner struggle, beating on the glass and running out of air was the stuff of his nightmares. Eerie, he decided, downright eerie. Everything seemed fine, but Jamie knew that for all the precautions they took one thing could go wrong and one of them or all of them could be dead. Steve Irwin was on his mind, a similar guy who had just been doing a show with similar risks when a freak accident happened. Jamie was so caught up in his head that he didn't even realize that he'd reached out until he felt Adam's soaked t-shirt beneath his hand. This time Adam took the hint and grabbed the regulator. Jamie realized that Adam must have been able to tell that he was still freaked out about the entire situation, since he took the oxygen right away this time, and gave him an unofficial thumbs up along withe the official okay sign before he goes to surface.
Adam was drained and Jamie was stressed, so they take a break. Jamie wanted to talk to Adam, but the other man was off, talking to other people. Anyone but him, Jamie realized with a lurch. It wasn't until later that Jamie got a second with him. "How's it going?" he asked.
Adam took a deep breath, and Jamie had a sinking feeling. Adam never looks this annoyed. "I'd be a lot better if my boyfriend was not a pompous, over-protective shithead."
"Adam," Jamie started. He stopped - he didn't even know what Adam was pissed off about, never mind what he should say to make it better.
"No. Don't even - I don't want to hear it. Stop, just stop." Adam was mad. "I can't believe how you're acting. You think you always know what's best for everyone. Well, you know what? Fuck you."
"What are you going on about?" Jamie thought that maybe Adam's blood sugar was low again. He got like this sometimes when that happened.
"I don't believe you. Do you really not know?" Adam took up his stance and voice that he used to imitate Jamie. No fake hand mustache this time though - he wasn't joking, he was pissed. "You're not going to be in the car. It's risky and stupid. I don't want you to do this. Just because I let you do it doesn't mean I have to like it." He resumed his normal tone, "And then you sit back there and baby-sit me and act like I'm going to forget to breathe without you there or something. Fuck you."
Listening to Adam repeat it all back to him, Jamie realized that he may have come off as a bit of a jerk. "It's not about you," he tried to explain. "It's a dangerous situation with a lot of variables that could go wrong."
Adam blinked at him. "Would you be as worried about it if you were the one sitting in the front of the car? No. You wouldn't. So it's about me."
Jamie thought about. He tried to figure out the words to explain what was in his head, that it was about how horrible he would feel if something happened to Adam, and his own hangups. He gave up; no matter how he tried to compose it in his mind, it sounded like he thought Adam couldn't handle himself. "Adam, you know that's not true." Adam turned heel and walked away. "Adam." Adam kicked the gate open and walked out. The gate slammed back with a clank. "Fine, be a baby like that," Jamie called behind him. He was pretty sure that when he thought about it he would regret that line, but in the moment he didn't care.
He wound up with plenty of time to think about it. Adam went back to his own house that evening, and wouldn't answer his phone when Jamie called. Not that Jamie called many times - he tried twice, and when the phone rang and rang and went right to voicemail, he imagined Adam sitting out at a bar somewhere with his friends, checking and seeing the caller ID, and ignoring it. The idea annoyed Jamie, whether it was true or not, so he tried to push it out of his mind. He tried to not think about Adam at all, in fact. It was harder than he thought, anymore. He straightened up the bit, but that only reminded him of the fact that things would only stay just so until Adam came over again. At that point any organization Jamie tried would be for naught as Adam would pick up whatever he thought was interesting and then when he was done with it place it back down in exactly the wrong spot. So that didn't work. He tried thinking of what needed to be done for the show, but he couldn't think of the show without thinking about Adam. Other projects then. He realized that it had probably been more than a decade since he had undertaken a major project without Adam helping in some capacity.
Adam had been his right hand man for a long time before the show ever started. Good help was hard to find, and, well Adam was one of the best at what he did. For all that he angered Jamie, if things were on the line, he would trust Adam with his life. He did entrust Adam with his life most days. It struck him that he knew that this, exactly, was what he wanted to say to Adam, if he could ever get the words out - if Adam would even let him to try to get the words out.
They had agreed to try and resolve personal conflicts before filming, and conversely avoid bringing work conflicts home. Inevitably, both happened anyway, but their agreement usually got them talking at any rate. And when his phone rang in the early morning hours, Jamie knew it must be Adam.
He began to talk almost before Jamie had the phone to his ear. "Hey, I figured we should, you know, talk about this -"
"Adam," requested Jamie. His voice sounded sharper than he had intended. "Can you just try to be quiet for a minute? I - I need to get this out without you interrupting me, or trying to finish my sentences, or making jokes. I'm not trying to be mean, just... I need to say this. And, you know..." He was getting better at speaking on camera, especially since he knew the editors were usually kind. However, when it came to Adam his mind and his mouth still didn't connect sometimes, "I'm not always the best at saying things."
Adam sounded uncertain, "Okay, Jamie," he said.
"Adam, I just need to say that, uh, I'm sorry. I know I need to back off. I just want you to know that I think you're one of the best at, well, most things, and that this is not about you. Well, uh, I guess it is about you, but it's about me, too. I cannot count the number of times I put my life into your hands, and, when I do that I want to know that you are doing everything in your power to keep me safe. I do know that. At the same time, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if anything happened to you and, I thought there was something that I could have done or should have done to prevent it. That's all this is. And, uh." He took a deep breath, unsure of whether to or how to say it. He knew it must be killing Adam to not jump in right then, but he was thankful for the silence, "I uh, I can't imagine life without you at this point. I don't know if that's good or not, but there it is. That's what I needed to say."
Adam laughed. Jamie thought it seemed like tension relief, but he couldn't be sure. He couldn't read Adam the way Adam seemed to be able to read him, especially not over the phone. "My god you infuriate me." Despite his statement he didn't sound pissed off, at least. "You know that all that doesn't make you acting like an asshole okay, right? I mean, I should be mad at you right now, I have every right to be, and I just can't do it. So, let it be known for the record that I'm still annoyed. But," he could hear the grin on Adam's face through the phone, "You're just too cute. I want to pinch your cheeks or something."
"Well, don't" responded Jamie. It was the only way he could think of to respond to this. Besides, he has more important things on his mind, "So, how do you want to work this shoot today?"
"What do you mean how are we going to work it?" Adam asked. "What's wrong with the way we've been doing things?"
This was where Adam mystified Jamie. "I thought that you just pretty much said that you didn't want me down there with you?" Jamie clarified.
"Jamie, who suggested you be down there in the first place?" questioned Adam. "You know that whole trusting me with your life thing you said? Well, I feel the same way, and, really, there's nobody else I trust like that besides you." Jamie realized he forgot to tell Adam that. Oh well, he had gotten the main point. "There is nobody I would want down there with me but you. I just hate it when you act like I'm dumb, or that I can't take care of myself. I'm not, and I can. Like seriously. There's a line. I don't mind you being down there - I want you to be down there in case - like you said - the regulator malfunctions or something. There are a lot of variables. I just can't handle it when you act like I'm going to forget to breathe or something. Trust me, I may be kind of ditsy sometimes, but I notice down there when I'm running out of air. Really."
Jamie was stuck between joking - asking Adam if he was sure he was only 'kind of ditsy' - and responding seriously. He chose the latter. "I'll try, Adam," he promised.
"Okay, we good? Because I gotta go back to getting ready, and you can get back to re-organizing your sock drawer or whatever you were doing. I'll see you in a little bit." Adam barely ever let Jamie get a word in edgewise. It worked better that way sometimes.
Things were always a little awkward when they first saw each other on set after a fight, or an emotional confession, or really anything that happened between them. Jamie remembered the time 'I love you,' had slipped out of Adam's mouth, how neither of them knew how to respond, so Jamie had pretended he didn't hear it and Adam had laughed anxiously a lot and said not very much every time they made eye contact. It had made filming unpleasant for weeks, and they had never really talked about it. It still made Jamie uncomfortable thinking about it, and it occurred to him that telling Adam that he couldn't imagine life without him was getting into the same ballpark as telling him he loved him, and he still wasn't sure about that. He hoped Adam wouldn't bring it up or want to talk about the state of their relationship for awhile - or ever, really.
They had bigger fish to fry on this occasion, though. They had to ensure the car window was properly rigged and lubricated so that it would open beneath the water, and that everything was set up just so at the filming site. Having things to work on together always helped - they would fight and they would cooperate and they would talk and have something in common again.
"I wish we could just break the damn window," Jamie asserted, breaking the silence that was hanging between them. "It would be easier." The rig wasn't exactly a difficult one, but ensuring it would work on a car being lowered into the water was more hassle than it was worth, in his estimation.
"Well, we can break them all before we junk the car at least," said Adam with a grin. "How do you want to do it? I don't really like the commercial window breaker. It's no fun. I'd rather throw rocks or catapult raw chickens at it or something."
"We could shoot them out," Jamie suggested. He liked guns - the chemical reactions and mechanics combining to be lethal was interesting to him, it was fun to destroy things by shooting them, and he was considered fairly skilled with them.
"I like it," Adam laughed. "So is it a date?"
"If you don't kill me first," responded Jamie. His head was already in the car, this time trying to think about whether he could handle not freaking out about Adam. He had a feeling that if he did, whatever uneasy truce they had just come to would be shot out of the water.
Adam was fine with the last two attempts, but Jamie was still uneasy with the whole thing. He mentally winced when he realized he had done it again. What was it about this whole underwater car thing that made him lose his cool like this - that made him reach out and touch Adam? He wasn't even usually a tactile person. As soon as they finished filming the segment and Jamie was out of his re-breather and wetsuit, he went and found Adam on the set.
"Adam, I'm sorry," he got it out as soon as he stepped into Adam's presence. He'd discovered it was easier to do things that way, just get things over and done with.
Adam laughed. "What did you do now? I don't think I've heard you apologize this much in the entire time I've known you, to anyone."
Jamie shrugged, "I apologize when I have reason to apologize." He realized he hadn't exactly answered Adam's question at all, "I just figured you expressly told me that me treating you like you were incapable of breathing on your own made you angry, and there I went and did it again."
Adam was serious for once, "You apologized once, you told me you'd work on it. I trust you. It's not something that's going to happen overnight. As much as I sometimes wish life was like filming a scene or an episode of the show where everything got wrapped up all neat and tidy, it's not. I know that and you know that." He laughed again, "Besides you put up with a ton of shit from me."
This time it was Jamie's turn to chuckle, "Don't remind me. You'll make me have to rethink this whole thing."
Adam smiled a little, "So how about that date?"
Jamie had to shake his head, "You're standing here, soaked from head to toe. You've just been trapped underwater in a car twice, and you're worried about going and shooting things later."
"Shooting things with you," Adam emphasized the 'you'. There was that grin again, the one that made Jamie think he just might love Adam after all.
"Go dry off," said Jamie. Adam, instead, wrapped him in a big bear hug, getting Jamie entirely soaked again, including his fresh white shirt.
He'd have to think some more about this love thing.